Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
