you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
