the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
