omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
