I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
