we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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