Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
