Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
