Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
