I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
