so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fuck appropriateness.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
