do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
