Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
