Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
