I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
