I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
