Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
