i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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