whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
