thus making me awesome and them whores
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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