I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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