Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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