Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
