Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
