worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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