That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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