I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
