sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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