I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found puke in my bra..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
