I'm gonna have a badass scar
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just found puke in my bra..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
