I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
