I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
