You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
