you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am midnight drunk by noon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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