In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Randomize
