hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
