when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Your penis caused this!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
