You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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