And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
