i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
