Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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