It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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