He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
