My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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