Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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