did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
