if i died would you start the facebook group?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
