Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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