pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
