goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
