Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This house was built for laser tag.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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