Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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