I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
