Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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