Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would ride that face into the sunset
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
