who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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